Four. Is. Hard.

We are struggling a bit with this age. Our house lately is a constant battleground of wills. I thought the terrible twos would be hard…but this is way harder. In fact I think this is the hardest age we have come across so far. Old enough to know better…but still little enough to need a lot of direction (and old enough to know exactly how to push it **just** far enough).

I was browsing a local bookstore the other day and came across a book with the title “Talk to me like I’m someone you love” or something like that. It actually made me tear up a bit. Do I always talk to Coen that way or do I let the frustration that has built up in me during the day spill over? Some nights I cringe when the kids are in bed and I look back to certain parts of the day…how I spoke…what I did (or didn’t do). I don’t think I am a perfectionist…but when it comes to raising my kids, yeah, I’m pretty hard on myself (as I’m sure most parents are). 

And so Dave and I have long talks and read the internet and lament about if we are doing all the things we can to bring up two well-adjusted little boys. All I ask is that at the end of the day (and middle and beginning!)…that they feel loved.

I wonder if there is a zen meditation book for parents out there? hmmmmm.

  1. #1 by Wanda on September 7, 2010 - 9:35 pm

    I’m sure you two are spectacular. Just a note: this is when the testosterone starts to kick in and it is often a good time for dads to take more lead in parenting. The poor little guys feel this stuff surging in their bodies and they need to know that there is someone bigger and stronger who can manage them and keep them safe. Hormones are controlled substances, after all! 🙂 Good luck.

  2. #2 by Colleen Rutherford on September 8, 2010 - 9:32 pm

    You have just summed up my life’s worth right now in this post. I cannot tell you how many night’s go by that I ask myself every one of those same questions. And we’re only at 3.5 years old right now. Sigh. You’re not alone, not by a long shot.

  3. #3 by Jill on September 8, 2010 - 9:45 pm

    Awh, I feel ya, girl. Just spent alot of my day with a raised voice and I hate that! I’m just hoping that the hour of reading books and the hugs and snuggles will balence it all out in the end. Big hugs, mama!

  4. #4 by gkgirl on October 11, 2010 - 3:14 pm

    i get this.
    i get this.

    and my kidlets are 10 (almost 11) and 15.

    and i get this.
    {i don’t know if that’s reassuring or not, to know that you may still feel this way when the kids are my kid’s age
    or if the feeling of “not being alone” counter balances…heehee}

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